Go To Your Happy Place

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Time and time again, we see on TV or even hear it in schools or at the workplace. When we get into a fit of frustration, anxiety, or low moods, we are told, go to your happy place.

Why does this work? 

If you recall my earlier post, Modern Day Fight of Flight, you will remember that anger is a physiological reaction to something we do not like. A series of chemical changes occur which results in us preparing for the fight or flight response. Our body is equipped to efficiently and effectively fight our target or flee from it. However, since our reptilian brain has hijacked us, we are prevented from using our cortex. The cortex is what makes us different from other members of the animal kingdom. It allows us to think, judge, make decisions and find meaning. Unfortunately for us, during this hijack, the cortex is not even turned on.

Studies have shown that when our heart rate exceeds 120 beats per minute, the cortex cannot activate. Remember that your brain strives on working efficiently in order to keep you safe. Therefore, it does not have time to take in information, evaluate it, and then proceed with the most appropriate response. 

This is why going to your happy place is a great idea. When you are starting to feel frustration rise within you, go to your happy place. What this does is it buys you some time. By redirecting your thoughts, you are giving yourself some time to reduce your heart rate to resting heart rate, thereby allowing your cortex to wake up. Once awoke, you have the ability to figure out what to do next. 

When I conduct group anger management sessions, I am always curious to see what happy places come up in discussion. Here is a list of a few of my favourites that I have heard over the years.

- My son's smile

- At Second Cup with a cup of coffee and a cupcake 

- My childhood home

- Sitting with my late grandfather on the park bench while we feed birds 

- Sitting in a church pew, surrounded by candlelight

- The look on my wife's face when we recited our vows

- In an open field, playing with my dog

- At a Bon Jovi concert

You'll notice that each of these places are personal to the individual and probably elicits feel-good emotions. How can you be angry when visiting your happy place? It just doesn't seem possible. 

So, the next time you're feeling frustrated or anxious, try taking yourself to your happy place and give that reptilian brain a break.

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