Getting out of your Comfort Zone
On a brisk autumn Sunday morning, I love love love cozying up in my big comfy blanket (which I call "the vortex" because it sucks you in and you never leave), laying my head on fluffy pillows, and bathing in the aroma of a freshly brewed cup of coffee. This is my definition of comfort and I never want to leave. Actually wait, that's a lie. I would leave.
Staying in bed to rejuvenate myself from a week of chaos feels good. But to stay in all day? No. That's hella boring. But, if you really think about it, we tend to live life the same way. We get accustomed to a level of "comfort"- whether it be a routine, a position at work, or our own personal development- and it can get boring. The difference is that we don't do anything about it.
Understandably, getting out of your comfort zone is tough. It's downright scary. The comfort zone is safe, stable, and predictable. Stepping out of this means taking a step into the unknown and hoping that you don't fall flat on your face and regret it.
I recently felt this way - the fear of getting out of the comfort zone - and it came to me as such a surprise. I was asked to present a talk to a group of individuals and although I am comfortable with speaking to groups, for some reason, I was hesitant to agree to this request. There was something that held me back and made me feel like I wasn't going to fit in or that my views would be met with skepticism. I am so good at avoiding things I don't like and so my natural inclination was to call in sick and cancel the whole thing! Luckily it didn't come to that. I had to take these steps to help me out of my comfort zone and get comfortable with discomfort. It was only then that I was able to muster up the courage to head to the talk, do my thing, and leave on a positive note.
1. Identify what makes you uncomfortable - In my case, it was the fear of not being able to hold a conversation with a group of professionals for the allotted time. I was afraid that I would run out of things to talk about, being unable to contribute to discussion, or just looking silly in facilitating a conversation if I ran out of things to talk about.
2. Explore the emotion - I felt fear. Fear of failure. Fear of looking silly. Fear of feeling like an imposter. Imposter syndrome is real!
3. Recognize the thoughts that are maintaining your emotion - I am no stranger to being hard on myself and so I kept thinking that I was an imposter and that these professionals were going to see right through me. I was also telling myself that they found the wrong person for the job.
4. Challenge your thoughts - What was helpful for me was to remind myself that I have done dozens of talks in the past few years and this was just another one. I've talked about this topic in private practice and I have also done several presentations. In addition to this, I have done all the necessary prep work that comes with giving the talk and I knew that my knowledge was up to date and relevant.
5. Take action in baby steps - Ask yourself if there's a way that you can break this down in order to get yourself comfortable. In my case, I had to put on some music (hey Beyonce!) to get my confidence up. Then I read and re-read my notes to solidify my knowledge. On top of that, I reframed the way I looked at the situation. These professionals were coming together to learn and collaborate and not judge. Reframing was the most helpful move for me. During the drive there, I took deep breaths and had to remind myself that this will all be over in two hours and those two hours will fly. In getting to the venue, I felt comfortable as everyone was friendly and was eager to learn.
Try these out for yourself and let me know how it works for you!